When Things Just Don't Add Up...

If you are wondering "why the lack of blog entries lately, Chelsea?", believe me, I'm wondering myself! It seems I did much more than what is showing on my blog, yet somehow, I don't know what could be missing, so it must just be that months passed like days lately!

To catch up, first off, life has been great yet trying, fun yet nerve-racking, and blessed yet difficult. Don't know if that even makes sense or is possible all at once, but that's how I'd describe the last few months! As RS President, it seems I have said to people over and over as they tell me about their trials and REALLY difficult times, that "it's only when it truly looks impossible, when it really doesn't add up on paper, that God can do the miracle." Meaning, sometimes in a trial, when we are at our wit's end and feel we can do no more, and fully have to rely on the Lord for things to work out, that God creates a miracle. What's more, is it was so beyond ourselves to get through, that we can't doubt that it was the Lord who carried us; we KNOW it was His power, not ours that made it possible.

Well, that is all well and good and is certainly 100% true, I believe, but BOY is it harder to put into action when you are in the midst of your own trial!! It was a full 9 months of Scott giving up his dream of being a pro-golfer and coming back to Utah doing what was "best" for our family, and looking for a job...with NO success!! Even though it got hard, I felt the Lord's hand guiding us; I felt He gave me/us more patience than I ever would have had on my own; I know He blessed me with peace and faith; I have no doubt His power kept Scott and I close, despite the stress. Then came the holidays of Thanksgiving through Christmas, STILL with no job, the "end" of finances in sight, and no concrete job despite great interviews and promising leads. I found myself, despite the months of being faith-ful and knowing the Lord was carrying me, now doubting. Why do we do this, even when we have a knowledge that the Lord is aware of us and blessing us (though not usually how WE would choose to be blessed!)? Why give into the temptation to question His love for us, His power in our lives, and our ability to hear His Spirit and wonder if it was our own thoughts, or His answer, that we are following?!

Well, to shorten a very LONG ordeal, Scott DID find a job, the blessings of which are still being manifest, and definitely not all financial! Our schedules, energy, interactions with ourselves/children are so much more positive. We are in a "groove", and both have the "we're in this together" attitude. It still will be a bit until his checks start matching his effort/hours, but we're heading in the right direction! And, somehow, miraculously, although it doesn't seem to add up logically, we are getting by and things are just working out! Miracle. No doubt! (For more detail on the doubting/craziness of the season, see the "Clam Chowder" entry!)

Avery: Look what I did!

At the end of this summer, Avery had an unforgettable childhood experience getting her first CAST! "Oh, man!" (I don't know how else to describe it, and kids especially can relate to just these two words and phrase made famous by a certain masked fox! You will only get that if you are a parent of small ones at home!) Anyhow, Shailee was taking her downstairs to play, like normal, and somehow caught the edge of a stair and they both fell, hitting their heads on the wall. It wasn't until a bit later after Avery calmed down, that she wanted to get down (as I was holding her) to grab a toy, took a step, and immediately pulled up her leg like a wounded puppy holding up his paw! It was obvious something was wrong...
We took her in the doctor's and found she had a small fracture on her tibia and needed a cast. We assume Shai must have accidentally caught her foot underneath her when they fell, causing the fracture. Shailee cried a good part of the afternoon saying, "I'm the worst sister, EVER!" over and over. We assured her it was simply an accident and Avery's hugs seemed to make it okay for them both!
The whole ordeal was, of course, was super sad, but Avery adjusted quickly, hobbling around like the fastest peg-leg you've ever seen! We even nicknamed her 'Pirate' (I think Scott even tried to get her to say, "Arrr!"), and we always knew she was coming, as we could hear the pause, clunk, pause, clunk of her footsteps behind us!! She was the cutest little broken leg, peg-leg girl you've ever seen!
I HAD to get pictures, just for the memories...now that they are good ones instead of bad!

If I had 3 wishes...

The last few weeks have been, well, full of SICKNESS. It sure makes you appreciate the times when you feel good--not even great, just good; with no sore throats, coughs, vomiting, diarrhea, fevers, teething, and times when kids actually sleep through the night! The girls already missed the 2nd to last week of school for a family vacation, then all the "fun" of the last week (field day, water games, autograph signing, not to mention the family fun of BBQs, 4th of July, etc).

It all started great, when we vacationed with Scott's family to a ranch in Montana. It was GORGEOUS! Full of horseback riding, hikes, fishing, bacci ball, and even tennis and golf! Then, the late nights, laughing, SUGAR, and sharing rooms w/cousins and therefore, germs, all got to us, I guess. One by one, 3 of the 6 of us came down with fevers, coughing, aching, etc. Some thought we even got the dreaded swine flu...whatever it was/is, it ISN'T FUN!! It does make you appreciate that at least it is only half of us! Just when I thought Shai and Eden were finally getting better, they got their first, horrible, dose of MAJOR cold sores all over their lips, inside cheek, tongue, and gums!

Now, I'm not blogging this to say "poor us" or get pity--it just helps me to remember and hopefully be grateful when things may not be perfect, but they aren't THIS bad!! Also, because Eden said the funniest, and yet saddest thing about it all. Her teeth have been hurting so bad she can't really even eat anything without inflaming or irritating the cold sores all over, since her "guts" (gums) are so swollen from it all. Last night, sadly, after 3 days of this, she covered her eyes at dinnertime and said, "Don't show me the food! I just want it so bad and I can't have it, it hurts too much! I just wish I could be healthy and eat whatever I wanted!"

Then, today took the cake. This time Eden's lips were dry and peeling and her tongue was stinging so much she looked at me and said, "I just wish I could switch places with someone who isn't SICK!!" She followed up with,
"Dad said he would switch places with me...
but, HOW?!!" quite seriously!
You could see her mind thinking desperately on how she could make it a reality! Then she said, "If I had 3 wishes, I know what I would wish." I asked her what she would wish for and she said, "First for my mouth to feel better, then for me to not have any sickness, then for Shailee to feel better." She was dead serious. How sweet that she would use her last wish on her sister, too! (The bad part about it is the thing that came to my mind, is how all of that could be taken care of in just 1 wish, "Help us all to be perfectly healthy", leaving 2 more to do whatever you wanted with! Oh Chelsea, you can't be greedy in a time like this!)

Jokes aside, really, I just want to remember the good times: of health, laughs, miracle days when you wake up feeling refreshed, times the laundry is done, the house is clean, and my family is just HAPPY!
One day, it will all be gone, and although well-rested and in an orderly house, I may think back on the times I got to get up and rock my sick girls,
and I will wish for it all back again...

Easter, Birthdays, Sister's Wedding, and everything else I've missed...

SO! I had to use my time and blog about that incredible experience with that little baby who passed away for my last blog, but now, I better catch up on the last few months of life as well! Here's to my once every other month blog update!

Easter: How can one not LOVE Easter when kids are around?! Believing in the Easter Bunny, coloring and decorating eggs as if they were art, searching not once, not twice, but three times at a minimum to fill an Easter basket with unneeded toys and candy between two Grandmas, home, and any other Easter hunt around. When else do you get to go to Grandmas house and "search" for treasures to collect on purpose?! I love that it is normal to walk around and pass a pair of gummy lips on a ledge and think, 'perfect, that's for me!' or find bubbles in a planter, or better yet (the practical gifts come out), find new underwear on Grandma's slide! Of course, rounding them all up after an exhilarating search to really remember WHY we have Easter, is the best. Watching their eyes as they hear the story, once again, of Christ's life, death, and resurrection, which allows us to also be resurrected and live with Him again...priceless.

Spring Birthdays: It's not until Spring comes upon us that I realize Scott and I weren't actively planning the "perfectly" spaced family as Shailee's, Avery's , and Rilee's birthdays are all within 8 weeks of each other!! They all had a great time, although Avery had an especially memorable 1st bday with cellulitis in her eye! What we thought may be pink eye, swelled up within hours of her eating her cake for her first birthday, even after a Drs visit and antibiotics! I told Scott I may have to reinact that day for photos only, since little Avery didn't notice the difference, except having to turn her whole head to us when we talked since she could only see out of one eye! I suppose it sure will make it memorable, however, as she looked like Mahamed Ali! Rilee had a swim party at the Rec Center, so for her, life couldn't get better sharing that with her friends! Shailee's big news was she "FINALLY" got her ears pierced!!! She couldn't have been more excited and she didn't even flinch when she got them done! I can't believe I have a preteen--she is so fun and has quite the personality as she matures! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THEM ALL!

My sister's Wedding: My cute sister, Brittany, got married in May,and it was awesome! We love her new husband, Brad, and love that he fits right into the family. Brittany's colors were purple, orange/peach, yellow, and royal blue. She pulled it altogether so well, it was beautiful!

That should do it for the Spring highlights! More in a few months...ha!

It's About Time--

What an eventful last few weeks. Easter flew into Mother's Day, which was a whirl to Rilee's birthday the end of May, then, sadly, last week ended in a baby's funeral for a dear friend in our ward. Interestingly enough, watching faithful people endure life's difficulties is actually inspiring and gives a fresh perspective in life.

This was the first funeral I encountered as RS President, but it was softened, somewhat, because of the amazing faith building experience it was, and going through it with a good friend. The coolest, most positive part of it all, apart from understanding this is NOT the end and this family will see Katelynn again, was knowing that a 7 week old baby had affected hundreds of lives in such a short time. Realizing that many who live full lives may not affect the good, the change, the desire to do better, as this tiny baby has.

My friend, Leta Greene, who has two "miracle" children and endured 7 miscarriages, felt she was supposed to get pregnant again last year. Leta has Epstein-Barr Syndrome, has chronic arthritis already, and getting pregnant debilitates her body/back/and hip so severely, she ends up on bedrest and a wheelchair for a good part of it. Despite this, she did get pregnant, and two weeks later, her husband (a young, healthy, triathlete) had an unexpected heart attack and she almost lost him. (This was also following him getting hit by a UTA bus the year previous and almost dying!)

During the pregnancy, they found the baby's heart, brain, and kidneys had some abnormalities and may not survive the pregnancy, and if she did, she may be severely handicapped. The Greene's perservered. They had faith. They prayed. Katelynn Faith (meaning "pure faith"), spent her whole little life in Primary Children's NICU/PICU. She needed heart surgery to survive, but her kidneys began to fail, and she couldn't breathe on her own. Her parents did what they could, and after trying two smaller heart surgeries to help her get by until the "real" one, they knew they needed to let her go and stop her pain, even knowing theirs would continue.

They greeted each set back, each test, each negative possibility, with faith, hope, determination, and positivity. So many have been touched by their trial, their reliance on God, and their sweet Katelynn. Stories were gathered from many, many people from all over, and compiled into a book, as a tribute to Katelynn and her parents. They are amazing, inspiring, thought-provoking. I was honored to contribute the following:

"Katelynn was here for us--anyone who was lucky enough to be around her and have felt of her HUGE spirit knows this. There was so much I learned and felt, more than could be put in words, during the brief encounters I had with her. She taught me so much, so quickly. Like Leta always testifies, this was supposed to be, no matter what it took to get her here, no matter the painful moments of missing her, or the physical pain as a result.
As soon as I walked into Katelynn's little room in the NICU, I was overcome with the Spirit, and felt I was on hallowed ground. I felt her spirit was larger than life. I tried hard not to overstep my bounds and not ask to be able to touch her, be close to her, but it seems I couldn't help it. My spirit desired to, hoped to be near her, so I gingerly touched her hand, and cupped her knee/foot. Instant peace. Aching at the reality of the situation, but Joy.
Paul's words now come to mind when thinking of Katelynn, "I have fought a good fight, I have kept the faith." Leta and Nathan have allowed Katelynn's life to do such good, by sharing her and her fight with us all. Thank you. Watching them in their "extremeties" has turned hearts to God. Testimonies have been strengthened. Desire to do better has increased. Appreciation for blessings has grown. Faith has overcome despair. We have all been changed, for good, from this tiny, valuable life.
The Savior promises, "I will not leave you comfortless", even when at times it feels we are. In those times, our spirits may ache, but they also are being sheltered, and comforted, by unseen hands. He reminds us that "in the world ye shall have tribulation, but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world". And now, Katelynn has, too."

It's hard not to be grateful for the lives we live, the air we breathe effortlessly, the health we enjoy, the freedom we are granted. It's hard not to want to "improve our time" we are given on earth. To stop complaining, to start appreciating, serving, loving, and living as our perfect Examplar, our Savior. Here's to doing more, reaching out, reaching up, doing our best. So many would give anything to have that chance at life again! Thanks, Katelynn, because you have forever changed me, and so many, "for the better". Ah, perspective IS everything...